Saturday, November 29, 2008

Top 10 Reasons why my life Rocks!

1. I have never used a credit card. I could probably figure out where to swipe it ( and notice I DO know the terminology), but what you type in the fun keypad I have no idea. I have to assume you're signing your name when you use the groovy pen. I understand the whole idea of credit, and building it up, but I can't think of ONE thing I need that badly that I would end up paying double for once you add the interest. Now I know there are loopholes and ways to get around interest. I know you need credit to a house. OH WAIT! I bought a house with no credit. So what was my point? ;) Yeah.. I know Dad..I know.
2. I couldn't pump gas now without asking directions. I haven't pumped gas in..almost 16 years? Did you know you have to pay first? My girlfriend was pumping gas and sent me in to pay and I'm just walking around QT looking at all the stuff ( I don't get out much) and she is waving and waving.. I'm just trying to give her time to get done, you know? I'm just waving back, making faces at her.. did you know they want like $7.00 for a bottle of Advil? ADVIL! OH! And this 'Pay at the Pump'? See 1.
3. I think ATM's are bullshit. Never used one, never will. I also don't have a personal bank account. Why in the WORLD would you trust someone else, a computer nonetheless, to handle your money? Has no one seen Terminator 3? Of course I don't have any major cash lying around.. but if I did.. I would get an alarm system (shotgun, not computer) and a big nasty dog. If they get through those? They can have it. It's just frapping money.
4. I don't have a cell phone. I'm not going to get on my soapbox about the bees, don't worry.. but the only reason I can justify having one is of you are out driving and the car breaks down or needing a way for your child to get in touch with you. I don't drive, and my child has one so I can get in touch with HER b/c she is normal and actually leaves the house. Other than that, there is no one I need to talk to THAT BADLY that can't wait until I am home..not to mention I hardly answer THAT why would I want one when I'm out? Leave me alone already! If I want to talk to you, I'll call you!
5. Every man needs a shed or garage- ie Playroom to call his own. I CAN NOT STAND IT when a woman doesn't give her man some room to play in, yet expects him to keep his feet off the coffee table or pick up every damn beer can as soon a he's done with it. If you want to keep your living room clean, get him out of it. I like time with my boyfriend just as much as the next girl..okay that didn't come out right but you get the drift.. but I don't want him stuck up my ass all the time, and trust me- he doesn't want to be there all the time. Men need a place to kick back, throw down and just be able to make a general mess sometimes. It's in their genes. And trust me- the more you let him relax and be true to his inner child ( and I don't mean just being messy. This could be dirtbiking/hunting/fishing/collecting stamps whatever) ..the more time he will want to spend with you. It's the whole Mars/Venus thing.
6. This one is decidedly not for everyone.. and I cetainly would not suggest it to everyone.. but my child has no rules. She has nothing to rebel against. If she wants to take a day off and skip school, she does it. If she wants to go to the movies, she does it. All I ask of her is that she keep her grades up,keep her room clean, stay off drugs/drinking/smoking, and hang out with a great group of friends that I have approved. She also has to go to college. That's not up for debate. I just recently gave her a curfew, b/c some of her friends drive. I also have a little trick here which I would love to share, but I can't b/c she might read this. So far so good! She's almost 17.. her grades are phenominal, she does her own laundry, pays her own cell phone bill, and usually comes home early. I never and I mean NEVER have to tell her to pick up her room or study or..anything. She's cheesecake. If she talks back, it's not smartass-y..she's usually right.
7. I make no money-nothing- and I am as poor as a church mouse. My Dad has drilled it into my my head that I NEED a paycheck b/c of social security when I'm older, etc. And he's right. I do need a paycheck. HOWEVER when I look at the past 10 years of my life with the food bank, and think of all the things I went without because of no paycheck, I realize that it was definately a positive experience that I would recommend to everyone. When you don't have money, you make do with what you have, and money becomes less important. If you don't have cable (or electricity) you play games and read with your child. You jump on a trampoline surrounded by candles at night b/c you ran the microwave and washer at the same time and blew another fuse. When you don't have air conditioning, you go outside and dam up a creek or make potpourri out of wildflowers. When your choices for dinner are limited, you spend time coming up with weird casseroles that include what you DO have, and make memories-again- with your child.(OMG green tomato incident of '99, huh Sam?;) You've all read those stories about the people that go to third world countries and come back with their lives changed for the better b/c they realize what is REALLY important. Helping people less fortunate than you really does make you appreciate what you have. It literally changes your life. Living it? Makes you feel blessed every time something happens that so many people take for granted.. like flicking a light switch, opening the frig and finding it stocked with food, FLUSHING THE TOILET (this week), etc. Trust me.. seeing my child smile in the morning is better than any trip I could take or object I could buy. I am truly blessed.
8. Some people tell me that my life has been filled with so much tragedy blah blah blah.. whose hasn't, right? It's probably why I let Sam throw water balloons in the house at 2 am instead of going to bed. It's why I let her Sharpie on her walls, or take trips every summer or skip school when it snows. It's why we glue stones to doorways and paint our bedroom doors with bricks when the beds are unmade or the sink is full of dishes. LIVE PEOPLE. That mess will still be there tomorrow. You might not be.
9. I am impulsive and irrational. I cut my hair if a dream dictates that I should. I wear my slippers and a tiara to work if I'm on my period. I pierce my nose if I want at 30..something. I got a much younger boyfriend b/c I had a gut feeling. I scream 'OFF WITH HIS HEAD' if a customer makes me mad at work. I put up signs at work that threaten to hit customers with bats if they kill the bumblebees that are swarming around. Does that make me a bad person? No. Does it make me slightly nuts? I don't know.. I don't care.
10. I started writing this b/c my brother said this morning that I had grown up. I meant to write the Top 10 Reasons Why I haven't Grown Up, and kind of went off on a tangent. In reading it now, I don't think it proves I haven't grown up. It just reminded me that I have had a great life and done exactly what I wanted. So thanks Nick. I love you!


Randa said...

I really liked this. It was humorous and thought provoking!

And you're not the only one that treats her daughter like that. That was the same rules my parents had for me. And I turned out just fine.


Rachel said...

What a great post...SOOO true about the money thing!
I found you at Miles Per Hour. I will be back!

David Chin said...

A lot of what you said make sense to me. I found you at the help forum.